When I first got into business networking I felt very awkward and did not say much until someone came and spoke to me. I realised that this would limit the number of people I would meet so I decided that I would learn how to feel more confident about networking. I asked a few people how they first learnt and they recommended a book called ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ by Dale Carnegie. I hated the title but found it really helped in getting business networking conversations going.
As I became more confident in starting a conversation I found it difficult to end a conversation, especially when I was speaking to someone that I was not that interested in talking to. So here is a summary of my business networking tips learnt through trial, error, and much help from Mr Carnegie.
Take charge of starting the conversation
After lots of research and practice I realised that many people were like me. Standing around not knowing what to say and leaving it to someone else to get a conversation going. I discovered that the tried and tested conversation starters in other areas of life worked equally well for business networking:
For example:
* Make a comment about the weather
* Ask a simple question about travel eg ‘Have you travelled far?’
* Ask a simple question about their connection to the event eg ‘Is this your first time at this event?’
If you are really brave then just stick your hand out, smile, and say ‘Hi, My name is xxxxxxx…..’ combined with one of the above suggestions. That is what I generally do now. If you do it sincerely then others will be very pleased you made the effort to break the ice.
Bonus tip – never start a conversation by asking someone what they do for a living.
Take a sincere interest in the other person
People like to talk about themselves. Give them plenty of opportunity to do so and they will normally return the favour. Find something in common that you can comment on or ask further questions about – something they said that you found of interest. Be clear that you are not looking for a cue to launch into a long monologue about yourself or your business. You are taking a sincere interest in the other person. If you do this then they are more likely to take a sincere interest in you and what you do for a living. You just need to let them go first.
If you are really stuck for follow-on comments or question to ask then a really good one is to ask them how they got started in business.
Know when to move on
If you are a little nervous it may be tempting to plant yourself next to someone who has shown a little interest in you. Its important to respect that the other person is there to meet people too and it would be better to have a shorter conversation and agree to meet again.
If you think that you would like to talk to them further then invite them for coffee and ask for their card. For example.
‘I’ve really enjoyed meeting you xxxxx, I need to [get some more coffee, go to the toilet, make a quick call etc] would you be interested in meeting for coffee sometime? I would be very interested to find out more about [you / your company / what you do ].
Sometimes you will meet people who you do not want to meet again. For example, they show no interest in you whatsoever or maybe show too much interest in trying to sell you something rather than get to know you. Use the same approach but miss out the invitation to meet for coffee!
The key to effective business networking is to find people where there is a mutual interest to meet again. Follow these business networking tips and you will soon be confidently making useful new business contacts and enjoying the process.
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on Apr 14th, 2010 at 2:16 pm
Great article Richard, thanks for the useful tips!
on May 3rd, 2010 at 5:02 pm
An interesting article Richard. Why do you say to not open with what do people do?
“Bonus tip – never start a conversation by asking someone what they do for a living.”
Dan
on May 3rd, 2010 at 9:12 pm
Thanks Dan
The reason is that it gives people the impression that you are only interested in selling something to them. Also people tend to go into auto pilot. Much better to connect and develop a bit if rapport. Lots of people start with ‘what do you do’ and its better than nothing. I am just saying that you are more likely to get better rapport with a more personal approach.
Best wishes
Richard
on Jun 14th, 2010 at 8:22 pm
Building your network is very effective and much easier done when you really know what you are doing. Having the intention of getting to know the person much better is the great way to build your business network. Business networking for me is not just the networking events you have to prepare and come to but the interest you take on people and the pleasure of knowing them better.
For me business networking is not just the fancy speeches you give during networking events and the fliers you hand over to people. It’s the time you make and spend with the people on your network. And the aim to know them better and be part of their lives and not thinking of even wanting to sell to them.
Thanks for the great article Richard. It’s really glad to know that someone is also spreading out the Ideal way to business networking.
on Jun 30th, 2010 at 10:55 am
I like the part says be sincere!!! Man can’t take when you try to talk to someone and all they are doing is scanning the room with their eyes.
on Aug 7th, 2010 at 11:33 pm
Dale Carnegie’s book is brilliant, I first read it as a teenager and I reread it regularly to remind myself. Great article Richard!
on Aug 26th, 2010 at 10:31 am
Thanks Richard, great tips and I’ve just read Dale Carnegie’s book too! When I started my business, I didn’t have a clue about networking, but it is an essential skill to have.
I’ve got two extra thoughts to add:
1. Networking is equally important for people seeking a career change as who they know is essential for their success.
2. I’ve had some great successes when I have taken networking outside of the bigger environment and gotten to know people over coffee or lunch too.